Me- Hello? I just got a phone call from Tori, What is going on?
Principal- I was out on Bus wait this morning, 2 students came up to me and said, How come Tori can wear tanks and we can't? so I brought it to Mrs. S and Mrs D. to deal with the situation because I don;t deal with the dress Code. so Mrs. S pulled Tori out and we obversed she was dressed extremely inappropriately!
Me- Huh, I did the 2 finger test and the test book says there is a 2 finger rule, and it passed? Tori feels like she is being singled out when there are many others wearing tanks
Principal- You know...Tori needs to worry about herself and not what others are wearing.
Me- said..oh, okay. ( as I could feel my blood boil) so the 2 students that came up to you on Bus wait? Did you tell them to worry about themselves and not what Tori was wearing? ( again, this is out of my league, I usually don't speak up like that but I felt I needed to back my daughter up on this)
Principal- told me to take this matter up with the Assistant Principal. Mrs. S... sigh......
so ya there you have it...My daughter was expelled from school for the rest of the year. ( 8 days!) for that outfit.....
so while Tori waits for me to arrive to pick her up at her school she keeps calling me... when I answered she was hystericle! not in a bad way but in a very happy way. I said what is going on? she said MOM! YOU KNOW 'J' THE SUPERINTENDENT OF THE SCHOOL SYSTEM? WELL SHE WAS WALKING INTO THE SCHOOL AND NOTICED MY ART WORK I WAS HOLDING AND SHE COMMENTED ON HOW GOOD I DID ON IT AND SHE SAID, OH ARE YOU GOING HOME SICK? I SAID NO...THE SCHOOL EXPELLED ME FOR THE REST OF THE YEAR FOR MY OUTFIT, AND SHE SAID OH..I DIDN'T NOTICE YOUR OUTFIT AT ALL. YOU LOOK LIKE NICE..... Tori laughed and thought that was funny that the superindent of the school system thought she looked nice!!!!!
what about the girls who wear. "JUICY" on the ass of their shorts,gym pants? or the kid wearing a POT leaf on his shirt? or all the Gothic students with the Black makeup and facial piercings??? Oh and yesterday when I went to "TRY" to get Tori's year Book? there was a girl wearing a mini ( I mean MINI ) skirt with a spaghetti strap tank top with her Bra showing!!! in the office getting lunch money from her Mother!! WHAT??? and no one said a WORD!!!! ( Believe me I wanted to!!) The kicker.... not only did Tori get expelled from school...she was not able to attend the 8th Grade formal dance last Friday, she is not able to attend the 8th Grade Graduation Tomorrow night, and also had her 8th Grade Boston Trip taken away!!!!! There are students who have been suspended more times than they have fingers and toes through out the year who still get to take part in all the 8th Grade celebrations....Tori never got suspended! she has had a few detentions here and there for stupid little things but for her to have everything taken away? and expelled for wearing a "" INNOPROPIATE"" outfit that I found was appropriate going by the student handbook baffling! Oh...and this all happened the same day her Kitty died! Poor kid.... so I have been playing phone tag with the school and guidance counselors......I am not letting this go! 
so we decided to write a letter to the Superintendent about this matter and how we believe it should of been handled differently....Maybe it was inappropriate to some???, but the punishment she recieved is a bit harsh!also....when I talked with the Assistant principal, I told her that is is very unfair for Tori to miss out on her Graduation..
She told me that Tori can earn back her graduation by doing 10 hours of community service!!!!! WHAT???? No way I said! Tori earned her Graduation by completing 8th Grade and is moving onto the high-school. so No 10 hours of Community service! then was told than no she is not to attend the graduation with her class she can sit in the audience!!!! Pfft I don;t think so... This is really getting messed up! THANK GOODNESS SHE IS NO LONGER GOING TO THAT SCHOOL!!! she will be in a different school for High School. I hope they change their ways when it is Whitney's time to attend there....... sighhhh
31 comments:
Oh my freakin goodness!!! That is ridiculous! Good for you for not letting this go. When i was in high school i wore tank tops all the time! Unbelievable!
That is far too harsh. I would be up in arms too. My daughter would be at the dance, and I would escort her there myself. She would also be at the graduation ceremony. And they WOULD let her participate.
that has got to be the MOST insane thing i've ever heard EVER! i'd fight til the bitter end!! she had on about 3 shirts and jeans for goodness sake. if that's what the school adminstration spends their time worrying about they have their priorities way out of whack.
That is CRAZY! Sounds like someone singled her out and won't back down. If I was you I wouldn't back down either. Get that letter to the superintendent pronto. I think they should ALL apologize to her for this!
That is totally ridiculous!!!! Good Golly - I can't even believe that bullsh*t. That is absolutely no reason for something like that - I totally stand by my thought that she was dressed nicely. Unbelieveable. You should totally fight that because that's insane that she isn't allowed to go to any of the end of the year events and that they didn't bring you in to discuss before any of it.
I'm a teacher and I can attest that most people who wind up in the main offices are nuts/idiot. You know the saying s&^% floats? It applies to schools. A quick remedy, which worked for us last year when they threatened to send my son to one school and my daughter to another was a letter to the editor of the local paper. Very long and very even-toned stating both sides of the issue and adding a lot of supporting evidence. My daughter loves school but has soured on principals and authority figures in the school because of issues like this. (They delighted when another classmate flipped-off the principal this year.) Well, school's over and she will have to move forward HOWEVER, like I tell a lot of the kids I teach in high school - "Your school years are very short and you take so little of it with you. The rest of your life is waiting and that's what you need to think about and making something good out of it." It is sad and will certainly cloud her memories and feelings, but as long as she has a good family and lots of fun and activity outside of school, she'll be just fine. Best to you all! - Don't forget about that letter to the editor and be sure to "name names."
Lisa- she looks fine- coming from a teacher- I am shocked that they took offense with this outfit given some of the other gear students wear to school- the punishment is unreal and if this was a first offense they could have said she needed to put on a sweater if it was such a big deal. Good for you for pursuing this further-- hang in there! I am so sorry Tori has to miss out on so much because of this and I hope the school reconsiders their decision.
This is absolutly RIDICIULOUS! I think they're being way to harsh and I wouldn't let it drop either. And I would consider not having Whit attend there, either, you know? Gracious, that's horrible! Tori looked cute and didn't desserve that at all.
Oh, and I agree with "The fabric Bolt" ----- I would contact your local TV station> SERIOUSLY. I work for a tv station and we would totally do a story on this.
i am blown away. when i wasd in HS, Iskipped class and got in school suspension for two days, and i consider that waaay worse than a dress code violation. and there was nothing wrong w/ what she was wearing. Lisa- dont stop with the school board or superintendant. I bet the local news would be all over this story.
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That is so horrible that Tori had to miss all of those fun events!
Oh. My. Word. When you asked for us to comment on Tori's outfit I thought it would be because maybe you and her disagreed about it or you & Brad or something. Not that she got expelled! I'm just shocked & appalled over here! Don't you let this go. This is INSANE! I would even print out all your comments you got from us adults and show those to the powers that be. My jaw was just on the floor reading all that. Tori is a GOOD KID. How dare they?!? Pleeeease keep us posted. You want me to call somebody? I've got free long distance!
This is all complete BS! I just HATE how the schools try to make 'an example' out of a perfectly good kid when the stinkers are allowed to get away with way worse just because the administration doesn't expect as much from them. Totally unfair double standard! Keep pushing for her.
You should go as far up the chain of command as you can. I would say include the media and threaten to sue. To make her miss end of 8th grade activites is insane. To make her miss graduation is grounds for a lawsuit. Especially given the other childrens dress she is being unfairly singled out. How dare they do this!
Totally insane! What is going on with that school? Mommy says you are SOOOO right about fighting this. The school's reasoning is inexplicable!
HOLY SMOKING CRAP you cannot be serious and it must be April Fools Day.
They had the frackin' guts to expel Tori for that outfit???????????????
Good gracious what has this messed up evil world come to? just wait till they see what the girls will show up in to the formal dance or graduation....these days i like to call them pros-ti-tots & thats what they are.
I'm peeved off at that stupid school & their messed up ways!!!
Tori this couldn't have happened to a nicer girl....Argh Leese, go after them with a vengeance!!!!!!!!!!!!
Hello.. I found your blog through Manicdote.. and I just have to comment!!
My sister is 15 so I have been around for the 'appropriate dress code rules'
Her first offence should have been a warning, a note home to the parents, put a sweater on, etc.
That is INCREDIBLY extreme to be sent and home and expelled for that. There is absolutely nothing wrong with her outfit, in no way is it inappropriate. I would keep fighting it until the agree to let her participate in everthting (with out doing the community service) and then I would ask her if she wanted to go, sure if not, don't bother. (petty yes, but that is cruel and hurtful for a 15yr old.)
Keep fighting!!! Threatening the school board with promises to send this all off to the newspapers and local media might get her back in too without actually having to do it!
The poor girl!
8 DAYS???
Are you kidding me?? my dumb BIL had drugs on him and got 1 day and like 2 weeks of in school suspension..
but to miss out on all of that stuff is so ridiculous! i don't know why they didn't tell her to put on a jacket!
That is so ridiculous! That was way too harsh, and she looked completely fine. I would fight this too. Too bad the superintendent didn't go back in the office after seeing Tori and asked them what in the world they were thinking!
You need to contact a local news station. This policy needs to be changed. That is way to harsh. They should have asked you to bring her another shirt and assigned detention. Don't let them do this. Unacceptable!
OH NO NO NO NO NO NO NO....I would fight this with everything you have! She looked fine to me to go to school. Now if the word "tank top" is written in the rules, then maybe there will be a problem, but if it's a two-finger width rule, then I don't see how that's broken with it doubled up. Seems like someone was waiting till the last minute to mess with y'all thinking that at such a late date, you wouldn't put up a fight. I really would not let it rest until I got over their heads. And look at the year book and see if other kids are dressed like that. Oh, this makes me mad!
That is RIDICULOUS!!!!!!!!!!!!! FIGHT it all the way (and let us know what happen!).
That's just plain ridiculous! Tell Tori to gather her friends and all wear tank tops to school... even the boys.... just to prove a point.
Stick to your guns Lisa... Tori did nothing wrong. She's being used to make an example of.
:)
I'm picking my jaw off the floor too. That is way too harsh of a punishment especially the school trip and graduation. Good for you for not backing down. I hope her high school is much better and fair.
Well, that's simply just stupid. As I said before, I was a teacher before becoming a SAHM, and this outfit is totally not inappropriate. Let's say that it was though...let's say that she was showing cleavage or something...even then, why such a severe punishment??? It doesn't sound as if she's been a repeat offender in the dress code department. That school sounds crazy. A school should know that when you have such an open dress code, that they're going to have to deal with kids who interpret it differently. If anything, she should have just been required to change. I still can't believe the way they handled it. Amazing.
If I were you, I'd continue to fight it! Call your local news station. Show them what your daughter was wearing and the outline of the dress code in the handbook. Don't just let it go...at least if she sees you fighting for it, even with no change, she'll know you're there to stand up for her.
sorry if this is common knowledge that somehow i missed growing up...but what is the 2 finger rule?
I agree that this is just crazy- even if the dress code is broken-to punish someone like that is not the answer. I know the tiger in you wants to fight but, how does Tori feel? Is she in fighting mode or will all this be too much for her? She knows she has your support - that is the most important thing- if she says she wants you to fight it then -go for it!
What? I don't understand this at all! It's almost like they are singling her out but why? I'm not sure how things work in that school but I would call the office of the supt and be asked to be placed on the agenda for the next school board meeting. You will have to be on the agenda in order to speak I guess that is if you want to do that...sorry I was getting all worked up just talking about it. I'm like you, I could not let it go. The punishment does not fit the crime. How did you control yourself? Keep us updated please and good luck!
Karen~
wow I just caught up with you finally this is CRAZY there was nothing wrong with her outfit.. what are they smoking out that way.. I'm glad you are fighting it, or fought it
Well the situation sounds nuts to me and I have a teaching degree as well as substituted for several years. I've seen situations like this from both sides including some where parents took a school to court so their kid could wear confederate, drug clothing etc. (things that could get their kid hurt as well as being inappropriate) and this is a situation where the school is not right to be so harsh. You'd think she exposed something graphically according to them. The problem I have with the school response is if they had a problem with the outfit...a simple change of clothes solves it...not expelling...crazy. I could see at most a detention or something minor with a warning to parents. I agree and have seen a lot of outfits at schools that show way too much but the schools always seem to only see certain ones. I'm sorry your daughter is going to miss out on so many things and I hope you are able to work things out with the school. It's too bad she didn't get the superintendant on record...like a video or audio clip. Usually they are the final word on decisions like this...not the school itself.
Well, I don't think I can express my awe at the stupidity of this situation any more than has already been done, but seriously - WTF????
School systems (I work for a college and have taught before, so I can say this with certainty) are so. freaking. full of themselves. They think there is no higher power than their word, but you find out who that higher power is and take it there!
There are bigger fish to fry and suspending someone for a tank top as well as disallowing them to particpate in the most important social/academic events of the year?? ABSURD.
Honestly, your community would LOVE to hear about this, so they know what schools to avoid for their own children. TV, Newspaper, local newsletter, blog - whatever you gotta do. Don't let it go.
i have about a billion things to say about this, but i think i am just too angry to get my point across.
wow.
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